So I bet y’all who read this in it’s previous incarnation (nessarox.laloba.com) and those who have just discovered me HERE and while reading see that the months are pretty much all there, but the year jumps from ’09 -’10 rather abruptly are wondering what has happened in the past year!

“So interesting! We Must Know!” I hear you chanting…

Well – I shan’t deny my masses, at last count I had 4(!) yes FOUR subscribers to my RSS feed so I know there is a clamoring to be kept informed of my life.

I still have my novel, “Rule #1, A Riley Rayne Novel”. I would say it is 50% more complete than the last time I wrote to you here, but I would say it’s only 25% complete of the whole novel writing process. I have not followed Uncle Stevie’s advice. I have let droves of people read my work. I edit on the fly instead of finishing and going back at the end. I have not been writing 10 pages a day.  But I have a good excuse! (Don’t we always…)  I got a real honest to goodness clock in, do my time, clock out J.O.B.

Yup – the day finally came where I could no longer pay my bills with tiddly winks and good intentions. The mortgage business (at which I firmly believe, in hindsight, my little company – my mother and myself – were the only honest workers in the whole world. J/K. There were a hand full of others out there. I know. But for the record I never sold a negative amortization no income/no asset/no employment verification 15% loan to anyone in my whole career, even if they wanted it and it would have paid me a mint.)…

I parenthesized to long – I have to start a new sentence. The Mortgage biz was a bust by 2007, which was OK at first because I had my baby Christmas Eve 2007 and I was in that little baby bubble you go into where you can’t really REALLY focus on anything but the baby for a year or so, so I was kind of oblivious to the whole financial world crumbling around us. My husband still had work, we had a nice tax refund check come that year (Extra deduction! WAHOO!) and we skated by.

Then 2009 came. No more happy baby endorphins. No more tax return check. More bills.

yeah. Crap.

So began the fun-tastic debate in my house. How much money could I earn and bring home after taxes, and how much of that pay check would go to child care – and was the difference in those two amounts worth me leaving the house.

The short answer. No effing way.

We figured I’d be at about $100 to $150 positive flow a week. We couldn’t even pay a month’s electric bill with that.

Solution? Weekend work.

So I got some. It was perfect while it lasted.

By this point my mother had moved into my house with us (remember the big bad Mortgage bust of 2007. Remember who I worked with? Yeah. Suckish all the way around.) So we worked out a relatively reasonable “help with the kids” schedule, two mornings a week, I hired my sister for the other three full days and went to work full time with the company that I had been working weekend for, which just so happens to be…. The same company my husband works for.

That was October of 2009, and here we are the last day of July 2010 – I’ve been there in some capacity for over a year, and full time for 9 months.

I like it. It’s good honest work. I like having a steady paycheck. It’s not always as big as the checks I got as a loan officer, but they are FAR more steady. There is no wondering if I’ll get paid one week, or AT ALL! Sometimes, after I did weeks of work,  a loan still might not close and then – no check. It’s both awesome and a challenge to work with Mike every day. It feels unifying to be part of such a small company, I am beginning to feel like a true asset to the team, which is nice. It feels frustrating when sometimes I feel like I am getting treated like the wife instead of the office manager but that’s to be expected. A little.

It’s the first time I’ve worked for a non family member (read: my mother) in six years so I have had to earn a level of respect that I didn’t have to work so hard for in my last position. But I think I’m almost there.

Worst part. I miss my kids like crazy. But, and I will stand by this controversial statement till the end: it’s easier to work full time than to parent full time. NOT BETTER. Easier.  My computer doesn’t whine. My payroll rosters don’t smack their sisters and cry when they get smacked back. My filing cabinets don’t refuse to eat strawberries in cheerios and scream for donuts.  It’s easier – but it’s not as rewarding.  I like being able to pay my bills and by groceries every week.  I do not like that Ava is now fully fluent in actual English. I don’t like that Anslee all of a sudden is too big for cartoons and LOOOOOOOOVES iCarly (which, by the way, is really a great show so we watch together) I don’t like how they seem to be growing up faster because of the 40 hours a week I don’t see.

It’s my life. It’s a great life and I wouldn’t trade it. But I will upgrade it when my novel is published!

I less than three (<3) you all, and I really have missed it here in the blog-osphere. It’s good back.

OH!!! By the way, Post Script, and all that – I have not touched a lit cigarette to these lovely lips since the day I put them down – September 13, 2009 at 6:30 PM EDT.

Hell YEAH I rocked that cold turkey! WHAT’S UP!!

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