I’ve recently become aware of a huge community on the internet for “Indie Writers”, also known as self publishing authors.

There are so many of us!

I don’t know if I should feel like I’ve found a home or if I should be overwhelmed and defeated by the amount of people cranking out honestly high quality reading material every single day. I have already purchased books from Amazon by some of the people who I met on Book Blogs , and once I’m done reading them there seems to be an infinite list of other Indie Authors who I want to read and support.

As I read their words, their blogs, their short stories and their novels I am overwhelmed.

I feel less than. I feel not enough.

It’s a feeling I have battled my entire life. I have felt like I wasn’t smart enough, or that I was less pretty than… I have felt like I wasn’t thin enough or that I was loved less than….

I have spent years building up a false bravado and exterior persona of a girl that is enough.

But I have yet to become her.

In reading the work of these other Indie Authors and they have such great stories, such original ideas, such… inspiration.

The more I read of them the more I feel my story line is…. less than… not enough….

It scares me off, it makes me turn from my characters and my story. It makes me hide in doubt and feel shame that I could ever be a valid part of this community.

I acknowledge that the only way to convince myself otherwise and to ever really believe that I could belong with them is to get over it, finish my book, design a cover, market the ever loving HELL out of it and make some money and get some positive reviews.

So I have to put on my big girl panties, stop whining and get my ass in gear and write the damn story.

So what if it’s lame?

So what if it’s ridiculous every body hates it and I get  only bad reviews and they all call me an idiot for trying.

At least I would have really – truly – tried.

And I will be one more step closer to believing that one day I will become the girl that honestly feels like she is enough.

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