Sticking to your guns is hard.  When you say you are gonna do *this* if *that* doesn’t happen it is so much easier to just let it slide and not do *this* at all.

But be careful – people know this, and people count on this and people think that you wouldn’t ever really do *this* because *that* wasn’t so important anyway.

It’s no big deal.

Get over it.

Wrong. It is a big deal and I’m not getting over it. I said I’d do *this* and now I am doing *this* even though it’s really really hard.

Doing *this* makes me feel guilty. Should I just suck it up? Should I continue to be the person in this relationship that puts up with an endless stream of crap?

No.

It would be easier to be that person, but that person is pretty frickin’ miserable.

The question is, though: after I do *this* would I be more miserable than if I continued to be the eternal crap taker?

It’s not like it is on T.V., where the steadfast mother figure stands up and says “I’m not going to take it anymore!” and pronounces the “effective immediately” changes that will take place in her house and everyone miraculously develops respect for her and everything is hunky-dorey and they all go out for ice cream.

(Actually – I don’t know if I’ve ever seen them go out for ice cream but I’m on a diet and kind of always want ice cream and in my perfect scenario we’d go get some Coldstone dammit.)

Nope, that’s not how it happens.

In real life, or at least my real life, what happens is they say “oh yeah, so what are you gonna do about it anyways?”

And then you have to do *this*: tell them to leave and never come back.

And it’s really really sad.

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